[LEMONS] 1.14.2004
Have You Stopped Beating Your Wife, Dr. Dean?
I am, as previously and often noted, a religious guy. Thus I was naturally surprised to discover that an important element of Christianity involves voting for Republicans. Who knew? Apparently, you're not a good Christian unless you believe in tax cuts for the rich. Somehow, I missed this lesson in Sunday School. Perhaps it's hidden in the Davinci Code somewhere, I don't know. I haven't read the book of Cheney all the way through.All I know is religion and politics go together like Rush Limbaugh and Hillary Clinton at the Sadie Hawkins dance.
One of the things I dig about the USA is that whole separation of church and state thing. I mean, Vatican City has some bitching art, but I wouldn't want to live there. Or even Alabama, for that matter. I do enjoy drinking beer on Sunday. But thanks for the effort at saving my soul via legislation, fellas. I hope that works out for you.
I digress.
A few months ago, Harper, being the kind of person who gives her hard earned money to organizations she feels are worthwhile, gave a chunk of change to KQED. This made me happy because--no matter what People magazine may say--I find Charlie Rose to be The Sexiest Man Alive. (Charlie, if you read this, I loved the Franken interview. Never before have you seemed at once so coquettish, and yet so commanding. But make not those eyes at Al again; those eyes are just for me. For shame, Charlie, for shame. Call me?) Um. Yeah. So, KQED sent us Newsweek as an appreciation bribe, or something. I enjoy reading it during my leisurely hours in the W.C. The most recent issue is All About Howard Dean.
So what kind of questions should major news organizations ask the Democratic frontrunner? Well, if you're a Newsweek reporter or editor, you already know the answer to this question. It isn't foreign policy, or the economy, or the environment that voters care about. No, no. What we want to know is, "Do you see Jesus Christ as the son of God and believe in him as the route to salvation and eternal life?"
What, what, what, WHAT?
Did I miss something? Are the trains not running today?
Is this a campaign interview, or a Sunday school confirmation class? Who fucking cares? (I mean, aside from the fundies who aren't going to vote for Dean anyway because he doesn't believe in putting people of other faiths to the sword.) How do you answer a question like that? What business did the reporter have asking it? What business did his editor have running it? How would Thomas Jefferson have answered such a question? How about Joe Lieberman?
I'm perplexed. I was so upset when I first read the question that I had to punch a journalist. It didn't help. But I plan to keep it up. I'll let you know how that works out.
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