[LEMONS] 10.22.2003
I Hate It When White Guys Call Me Dog
--By Mat HonanA drama in one act, taking place in the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco, on a fine October day.
The main characters are "Me" and "Sleepy Guy." "Me" is a soon-to-be 31 year-old San Franciscan by way of Atlanta and Alabama. "Me" is impeccably hip, with a fine head of curly hair that's beginning to go gray, and a mustache that is the envy of every cop on his block. He is good and pure, he hopes for the future. "Sleepy Guy" wears an orange University of Texas baseball cap, khaki cargo shorts, and a white T-Shirt. "Sleepy Guy" is the product of overindulgent parenting and a sense of entitlement. Deep in his heart, he is tormented by all that is good and worthwhile. He lives only to destroy that which others have created. More likely than not, he either holds, or is in the process of obtaining, a M.B.A. degree. He dreams of the end of the world.
The scene begins as "Me" walks out of his apartment with his bike, and notices "Sleepy Guy" apparantly asleep on the front stoop. The time is 5:30 PM. Light traffic passes by on the street.
Me (irritated): Hey man, hey! Wake up.
Sleepy Guy (confused): What, what!?!
Me: Hey man, what are you doing? Are you okay?
Sleeepy Guy (indignant): Yeah dog, I'm fine dog.
Me: What are you doing?
Sleepy Guy: I'm just waiting on my girlfriend, dog. I live here, dog.
Me (skeptical tone): You live here?
Sleepy Guy: Yeah, dog.
Me (pointing towards the door he has just emerged from): In this house?
Sleepy Guy: Yeah dog. No, I mean, not in this house. My girlfriend lives next door dog. Fourth floor apartment, dog. I'm just waiting on her to get home.
Me (exasperated and sarcastic): Well I just wanted to make sure you weren't some fucked up guy sleeping on my steps.
Sleepy Guy (missing sarcasm): No worries, dog.
Questions for review. Please attach on a seperate sheet of paper.
1. Who is symbolized by Sleepy Guy, and what point is the author trying to make about the current socio-economic climate in which we live?
2. What role does the audience play in this performance?
3. What does Me's refusal too confront Sleepy Guy by delivering repeated kicks to his supine rib-cage tell us about his mental state? Is Me a weak character?
4. Is the story believable?
5. What is the author's purpose in repeatedly using the signifier "dog?"
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