[LEMONS] 8.12.2003
FoxNews: GOPNN
In solidarity with, or at least a nod to, Destiny-land, Boing Boing, Brad DeLong, and Atrios (not to mention Al Franken), I've changed my tagline. FoxNews is suing Franken in order to force him to change the title of his book, "Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right," claiming it owns the phrase "fair and balanced."The suit is interesting in itself, but it also got me wondering about FoxNews, its audience, and the urge to hide its bias. FoxNews has always tried to cloak itself with a veneer of journalistic integrity via snappy catchphrases. "We report, you decide." "Fair and balanced." "If it isn't on Fox, it must be feminazi propaganda" (Okay, maybe I made that last one up.) Meanwhile they broadcast some of the most blatant propaganda this side of the Xinhua News Agency. There's no better evidence of the network's utter disregard for journalism than the very face of FoxNews, the veteran reporter hired straight from "the Michael Jackson plastic surgery beat," Bill O'Reilly. Or our man on the front lines in Afghanistan, Geraldo "hallowed ground" Rivera. Fact-checked? Who cares! Let's drop some bombs!
Now, I know a few people who watch FoxNews and, contrary to what you might think, they aren't idiots. Some are actually educated and intelligent people. I don't understand why a smart person would watch Fox, aside from the spectacle of it, but people do. Perhaps it's because Fox is so good at telling people what they want to hear. Maybe it's because people don't read newspapers anymore. Or it could be because FoxNews seems to have a firm policy against issuing retractions or admitting that it runs, well, bullshit stories. Who knows. I blame the catchphrases. Given that "fair and balanced" is about as accurate a depiction of FoxNews as "thin and gracious" is of Rush Limbaugh, maybe it's time for something new. A few ideas:
FoxNews: Fuck the Truth, We're at War!
FoxNews: When You're Too Lazy To Care
FoxNews: The Truth Is Just Too Troubling
FoxNews: Because CNN Uses Big Scary Words
FoxNews: In Your Heart, You Know We're Right*
FoxNews: Bite Me Osama!
But these all suck. Got any better ones? Best entry gets 5,000 Kip via U.S. Mail
*apologies to barry goldwater
U P D A T E : Friday August 15 is Fair and Balanced day on the Internet.
- l i n k -
