[LEMONS] 4.23.2002
Fun with Telemarketers
I love to screw with telemarketers. I have several prescripted ideas that I enjoy trying out. Praying. Talking dirty. Keeping them on the line for ages. Pretending to be mentally incompetent and ordering lots of product. But sometimes it's best just to be goofy. Yesterday, I picked up the phone, and heard only silence. Then a click. Then a man's voice saying "let's see here...." Then, "Hello?""Hello."
"May I speak with Mrs. Honan?"
"Hang on." (Very. Long. Wait.) Deep, gruff voice: "Hello."
"Hello, Mrs. Honan?"
"Who?"
"Mrs. Honan?"
"Hang on." (Very. Long Wait. Number. Two. )
On the other end I hear deep sighing. Chips are munched. A voice says:
"Soooooo...." (whistling. no. really. whistling. the guy was actually whistling.)
I pick up the phone (it was on speakerphone). I take it with me over to my glass of orange juice and take several big, slurpy, gurgling, gulps.
"Um, Mrs. Honan?"
Big Gruff Voice: "I'm! Drinking! Orange! Juice!"
"Mrs. Honan?"
"Orange Juice!
"Is, um... Is this Mrs. Honan?"
"Orrrrrrrrraaaaaaange Juuuuuuuuuuuuice."
The end.
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