[LEMONS] 2.26.2002
Why Your Flight Was Delayed Last Week
Last Thursday, I got off of a plane in Oakland.I had flown there from San Diego, where I'd driven after a week in Baja. I was sunburned, tired, and my brain was cycling low. When the plane landed, I donned my silly straw hat, shouldered my daypack, and untrundled my guitar from The Overhead Bin (which must remain closed during take off and landing. which the guitar was stored in as per faa regulations). Since we were sitting in the extra comfortable emergency exit row, we took our time getting off. But as the plane cleared, we walked out onto the concourse. When the light hit me, I reached in my pocket for my sunglasses. The really nice pair of Smith's with the adjustable lenses I bought last Fall. The ones I couldn't afford to replace.
They weren't there. Nor were they in my bag. Nor anywhere that I could find. "My sunglasses," I said to Harper.
Then I turned and trotted to the gate.
People were still getting off of the plane. All was not lost. I started onto the jetway. A woman who worked for Southwest immediately blocked me and gave me the "sir sir."
I realized what I had almost done. Airports shut down these days because of idiots like me bolting onto a jet. She asked what the deal was. I explained to her. She patiently told me that I couldn't go back on the plane. Then she went to go look for the sunglasses herself.
All of the suddenI realized I was wearing the aforementioned silly straw hat. I took off the hat.
"Oh shit." There were the glasses. Under the hat. On my head. I was even more flustered. "Oh shit."
I promptly started to head for the jetway again, without thinking. This time a security guard just put his hand in front of me.
"Can't go that way sir."
"Oh. Yeah. Um. Sorry. That's right. Hey. Um. Can you tell her I found the glasses?"
I slunk off.
(I should point out that I never actually got to the jetway either time, SW stopped me at the counter in both instances of my extraordinary stupidity)
- l i n k -
