[LEMONS] 2.28.2002
**Recording Industry Totally Not Kidding Dammit**
"Recording Academy President C. Michael Greene used his speech at the bland and totally rigged Grammy Awards to lobby for an end to rampant electronic music-swapping, which he said is damaging the recording industry and totally screwing with his ability to scam millions of dollars from the idiot public in a thinly veiled act of major ongoing consumer fraud. "This illegal file-sharing and ripping of music is pervasive, out of control and it's oh so criminal," Greene said, as no one anywhere actually had any idea what this guy actually does for a living,as in actual work. The industry complains that record sales are plummeting and profit margins are thin, largely because of the illegal swapping of music files over the Internet, and not because the recording industry has been ripping off consumers for years and gleefully overcharging and gouging artists for major chunks of their livelihoods and artificially inflating the cost of CDs and being entirely slothful in keeping up with new technologies because they're largely lazy and corporate and unethical. "You little punk-ass kids keep this up, and I won't be able to make my Hummer payments," Greene should've added, wagging a finger, secretly longing for the time when a very drunk David Hasselhoff serenaded him in his hot tub and he felt his first real pangs of genuine love." -- Mark Morford, always worth the price of admission.
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