[LEMONS] 9.05.2001
My mom called me yesterday morning and told me that my grandmother was dying. This is not a surprise, granny has been sick for a long time. In fact, I remember back when I was in college and she was scheduled to have an operation on her throat, my dad telling me she would probably not survive the operations. But this time it seemed like it was "for real."
She moved in with my mother a few weeks ago, as she has finally gotten to the point where it just wasn't safe for her to stay alone anymore. Just after moving in, the doctor told my mother that it was time for hospice care. This is taking place in the spare bedroom in my mother's house. The hospice nurse and social worker essentially told my family that it is day-to-day now. They gave her medicine to reduce the swelling in her brain, but chances are that if she does not pass away within the next two days, she will within the next two weeks.
This is rough.
The last four years have been incredibly hard for my Mom. My dad left her for another woman, I (her only child) moved 3000 miles away (largely because once the family split up, I saw no reason to stick around the South anymore), she had heart problems that eventually resulted in triple bypass surgery, and, of course, her mother is dying.
I've always been really close to my Granny, as close as I am to my parents. In fact there have been a lot of times when I have talked to her about things that I could not talk to either of my folks about. But right now I feel worse for my mom than anyone else. I love granny with all my heart, but I think that she's ready to go. I'm not so sure that My mom is ready for her to leave, and I simply cannot imagine what it must be like to have to watch one of your parents die in your home.
Nobody that I'm really close to has died in a long time. In my whole life, the only people that I've been very close to who have passed away have been my grandfather and my great aunt. I've been pretty down the last couple of days, and haven't felt like doing shit.
- l i n k -
